The 80s Parenting Files: Were They Clueless, Or Did We Just Thrive? (+ Meet the 'Tools of Discipline' Tee)

Remember the 1980s?

Big hair, questionable fashion choices, and a style of parenting that feels worlds away from today. If you were a kid during this era, you probably navigated your childhood with a significant amount of freedom, and perhaps encountered the legendary "Tools of Discipline" firsthand.

What do I mean?
I created the "Tools of Discipline" T-Shirt, as a "hilarious ode to growing up in the 80s". It celebrates a time when seemingly "every item in the house had a second career as a behavior correction device". 
That wasn't abuse, no sir! It was "parenting with whatever was within arm’s reach". Wearing this tee is a way to "convert your childhood trauma into this legendary tee" and show the world you "survived the golden age of discipline". It's perfect for those who still flinch at the sound of a flip-flop hitting the floor.

Behind a humorous T-shirt lies the brutal truth

This humorous take on discipline points to a much broader reality of 80s childhood: a time when independence wasn't just encouraged, it was often mandatory. But was this "hands-off" approach inherently wrong, or did it actually forge the resilient adults we are today? Let's dive into what the 80s got right, and maybe, what went a little sideways.

Life as an 80s Kiddo: Free-Range and (Often) Unsupervised
Growing up in the 80s meant a level of autonomy that can seem astonishing today. It was common to be told to "Go play outside". This often meant leaving the house after breakfast and not returning until dinner or when the streetlights came on. I am not kidding here, that's how it was.
Parents might have had a "general knowledge" of where their kids were, but often had no clue where we were for the most part. This lack of constant supervision was partly due to the absence of modern technology like cell phones or tracking devices. The fact that the TV announcement, "It is 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?" was still airing in the 80s (and even into the 90s) highlights that parents genuinely needed these reminders. Many describe being "latch-key kids," letting themselves into empty houses after school.

The Pros of 80s Parenting

Looking back, many who lived through it see significant benefits to this parenting style:

• Increased Independence and Self-Sufficiency: Being left to entertain themselves and navigate the world fostered independence. Kids learned to "figure it out" when faced with everyday tasks or difficulties, rather than having parents plow over any obstacles. This also meant kids learned to make their own adventures and find fun without relying on gadgets.
• Resilience and Problem-Solving: Bumps and bruises were common, and the standard response was often simply "Rub some dirt on it". This taught kids to "shake it off" and get back to playing. Without constant adult intervention, children learned to be "stronger, push harder, and do better" when things were difficult.
• Respect for Boundaries: The 80s often involved clearer lines between adults and children. Kids learned to respect adult space, privacy, and to avoid interrupting adult conversations.
• Valuing Resources and Creativity: Getting new things wasn't always easy or the first solution. Kids were encouraged to find, fix, or solve issues using existing resources, nature, or their imaginations. Some even earned money through age-appropriate jobs to get what they wanted.
• Trust: Parents often placed a significant amount of trust in their children to be safe and find their way home.

The Cons of 80s Parenting

However, not everything was sunshine and rainbows. This freedom wasn't without its downsides. This is also the eternal philosophical dilemma: Freedom or Safety. Kids in the 80s and 90s clearly chose the first:

• Exposure to Unknown Risks: The lack of constant supervision meant children sometimes engaged in risky behaviours that parents were unaware of. Many express surprise that they survived their childhoods after riding bikes down hills without brakes, playing in train yards, or jumping off buildings.
• Vulnerability to Danger: While some felt the world felt safer, dangers did exist. High-profile missing child cases, like that of Adam Walsh who was allegedly lured with promises of toys and candy, gained national attention and increased parental fear.
• Lack of Awareness of Children's Activities: Parents often genuinely didn't know where their kids were or what they were doing. They relied on kids to be home by dark or dinner, and might only start calling friends' houses if they weren't. Some kids lied or hid their activities successfully.
• Discipline Methods: As the "Tools of Discipline" T-shirt suggests, discipline was often direct. This could involve physical punishment like a "smack of a hand, a hit from a wooden spoon or a hit from a leather belt". Public embarrassment was also a tool used without hesitation. While framed humorously by the t-shirt, these methods are less common or accepted today.

The Shift: From Free-Range to More Involved

The move towards more closely supervised parenting began increasing in the late 80s and throughout the 90s. Shows like "America's Most Wanted" are noted as contributing to a culture prone to paranoia, which stripped away some of the autonomy kids previously had.
Post-9/11 is often cited as a time when parenting began to resemble the more involved style seen today, perhaps as an "overcorrection" by Gen X parents who were raised with more freedom. The rise of cell phones and the internet also made constant monitoring easier. Technology also provided more options for entertainment at home, making venturing out unsupervised less necessary or appealing for some kids.

So, What Do You Think?

Was 80s parenting "wrong"? Many who were 80s kids remember the freedom fondly. They value the independence and resilience it instilled. Yet, the potential for danger was undeniable, even if less constantly highlighted than today. The lack of parental knowledge about kids' activities was genuine.
The parenting landscape has certainly shifted. Today's parents are often more involved and safety-conscious, a stark contrast to the latchkey kid era.
Whether the 80s approach was ideal, flawed, or simply a product of its time with both benefits and drawbacks, is a decision for you to make.
Survived 80s parenting? Wear it like a badge of honour! Check out the Tools of Discipline T-Shirt and relive those (slightly terrifying, totally character-building) memories with 80s Kiddo!

Hercules from 80s Kiddo